An actor in the audience?

Yesteday, I learned that a local library (not the one in my town but one nearby) was going to show a reading of The Marriage Proposal by Chekov. They call it The Proposal, sometimes it is called A Marriage Propsal, but anyway the readers who have been following this blog for a while probably noticed that it is the same play I was in not so long ago. So I am of two minds about it: a part of me wants to watch it on stage so to speak, or at least given to a wide audience. I love the play. But because I love this play a lot, a part of me is very jealous that I am not in it. I am petty like this sometimes: I envy other actors a lot, whether they are professionals or amateurs, when I see them on stage. More so when I think I have not quite mastered the play as I wanted to. Yet on the other hand, it would give me a perspective about the play that I cannot have with my own experience. And the public reading is free. So I don't know...