Being a bear

Today, my wife was out to see some girlfriends so I spent the day and evening by myself. I could have gone to a formal dinner organised by my employers tonight, but I did not want to. I know I said that I was trying to get a social life, but I have my acting for this and I make a distinction between social life and work life. They are not mutually exclusive, but they are not the same and on a Saturday I would rather avoid seeing the same people I see every day, however nice they are. Sometimes one just wants to stay in the cave and be a hermit, or a bear.

And I felt very much like a bear today, an hibernating one: I didn't go out at all but since the weather was grey I didn't mind, I spent all day doing nothing or not much. I read, I watched TV, I listened to music, I enjoyed myself. I also ate very badly: grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner (they were delicious!). I watched at myself in the mirror, unshaved, barely combed, wearing old clothes, looking utterly unglamorous and every bit like a bear does this time of year. How unhappy and out of place I would have felt drinking champagne and having a three course meal. I just needed to be home and I didn't feel like socialising at all. But it ended up being a very pleasant day.