Le crinqué

J'ai écrit un billet mercredi dernier sur le Mondial de football/soccer. Et depuis, il y a un commentateur anonyme qui a écrit non pas un mais trois messages me disant plus ou moins à quel point j'étais dans les patates. Trois commentaires, tous le 15 mai, à quelques minutes d'intervalle. Je trouve ça un peu fort de café, mettons. Si je me cherchais une raison de plus pour ne pas aimer le football/soccer, en voilà une: les fans sont parfois un peu trop crinqués. Mais bon, je savais déjà, alors ce n'est qu'un rappel.

Pourquoi je n'aime pas le football/soccer

Vous savez que je n'aime pas le football/soccer. Parce que je trouve que c'est un sport plate, un sport qui parfois et un peu trop souvent en est un de petites brutes et de bullies, pour pleins d'autres raisons, mais surtout je trouve ça plate. Mais il y a aussi ça: la FIFA est une organisation trop gourmande et un peu escroc. Lire cette chronique de Patrick Lagacé datant d'avril pour vous en convaincre, de toutes les exigences demandées aux gouvernements pour permettre aux villes de recevoir le Mondial. Voir aussi ce reportage de Rad Can. C'est assez damnant. Comme le disait le regretté maire l'Allier, c'est socialiser les dépenses pour privatiser les profits. Je suis vraiment content, je dirais même soulagé, que Montréal ne reçoive pas d'équipes lors de la Coupe du Monde 2026.

La Coupe et les pots-de-vin

J'aimerais parler brièvement d'un scandale sportif, à propos d'un sport que je n'ai jamais réussi à aimer. Surprise, surprise, la FIFA est accusée d'avoir reçu des pots-de-vin pour les Coupes du monde de soccer/football de 2018 et 2022. Calembour atroce que j'ai commis en lisant ça: la Coupe a reçu des pots-de-vin. Aussi: on a versé des pots-de-vin dans la Coupe. Je sais, je sais, c'est épouvantable. Je me demande d'ailleurs combien de calembours atroces on peut créer autour de ce scandale.

Waka Waka

Well, I am a tad tired of talking about you know what, so let's have some fun today with a bit of music. I am not particularly fan of Shakira, or any pop singer in general, but there are a few songs of her I do like. Among them, there is Waka Waka, which she sang ten years ago for the World Cup in South Africa. I don't know why, but I got it in the head recently and started listening to it. I decided to share it with Wolfie, not only the song, but the whole videoclip, and he really, really, really enjoyed it. Might be because, like so many boys growing up, he has an almost natural affinity with football. It might also be because one of his grandfathers, his daddad, is South African. Which I explained to him when we watched the videoclip together. Yes, it must be one or the other, or both. Can't think of any other reason. Can you?

It's coming home

Today, England's football team won against Sweden, which means they are going into the semi-finals of the World Cup. I did not watch, as I don't like football. That said, I cannot help but feel a tingle of excitement about what's happening. It is a surprise to myself. I say I don't like football, a more accurate description would be that it bores me to tears. I always felt indifferent towards it and England has been rubbish for decades, which did not help it one bit: why should I care what happens if my country of adoption can't win at the sport she invented? The only thing I could do is tease my wife. This year it's different: England is actually good, they are is actually winning, they have a fair shot at becoming champions. I cannot tease my wife anymore. And I have a young child, far too young to be interested about football, but who likely will when he will be older. Add to this that my godson is a huge football fan and is following the World Cup religiously. So I'm happy for all of them and all that World Cup nonsense is getting to me... A bit. Not enough to watch a game, but enough to just be glad of the score. So anyway, I decided to share this song I heard today, from a band I had never heard of before. It's called Three Lions, from The Lightning Seeds. But it is better known for its lyric "It's coming home". It's kinda catchy.

Football and me

It is the World Cup. The problem is: football/soccer bores me to tears. I tried to like it, tried to follow a game here and there, every time I just got bored. Like, really bored. The hysteria people have here for the sport (and it won't get any better: England won yesterday) just baffles me. I say this and now I must be careful about what I say about football on social medias: my godson is a big fan and a talented football player in his own right. I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings, if he'd learned that his godfather ("the best in the whole world") is really not into it. Like I said to my wife last night: "Football is just not interesting if my godson does not play." Which I think deserves to be a great unknown line. I did saw him play, back in 2016. He was really disappointed: he'd lost that game, while he had won the previous one and had made two goals. I hope to see him play again one day, and see him win this time. But until then, I cannot wait for the World Cup to be over.

Le calvaire qui achève

C'est le dernier match de soccer du Mondial, Allemagne contre Argentine. Mon calvaire achève. Je déteste le football/soccer. Je veux dire: je déteste vraiment. C'est plate. Pour reprendre une comparaison biblique (enfin je crois, à tout le moins une comparaison religieuse), ça rend l'homme semblable à la bête, que ce soit le joueur ou le partisan. Alors je suis heureux qu'on va bientôt avoir la paix pour quatre ans. En ce qui concerne le football/soccer mondial, en tout cas.

Football in a nutshell

The World Cup is going on right now, as every single person on the planet knows, whether they love football or not. I happen to dislike it, I find the sport boring, slow and I find that here in England it brings the worst of people. So I am glad to know that England is eliminated now, even though they have one game left. I said on Facebook and at work something that sums up football for me: "Football is also called soccer, because it sucks." I think it deserves to be a great unknown line. My brother PJ had a few great ones as well about football, I might put them one day here, however I want to blog about football/soccer only a little. I don't want to spend more time on it than necessary.

That said, I was happily surprised when I discovered that not everyone is a football fan in this country. My manager and the other colleague in my small team at work both dislike football and avoid it like the plague it is. It is always good to know. I have also seen at least one pub advertising itself as a "football free zone" in my town. So I am not alone. it is always good to know.

Le calvaire du football

Je fais une confession ici: j'exècre le football/soccer au plus haut point. Je trouve que c'est un sport lent, plate, avec des joueurs vulgaires, qui ici fait sortir tout ce qu'il y a de barbare, de sauvage, de stupide et de désagréable chez les peuple d'Europe et d'ailleurs sur la planète. Ici, en tout cas, le football, c'est laid. Et là c'est le Mondial. Alors on en a pour trois semaines. Je risque de trouver le temps long parfois... Un long calvaire.

Enjoying not being part of it

I will start this post by a great unknown line. Last Wednesday, I went to a meeting at work. The person holding it told me: "So you are not into football". Stupidly I asked why: England was of course playing, which I had barely noticed. I was the only invited person who attended the meeting.

Today England played again, and lost, but I barely watch the game. If it wasn't for my wife being disappointed, I would not have cared at all about the game. I went in the garden instead, put down the picnic towel we had bought earlier on and I read. It was (and is still) the hottest day of the year, everything was silent outside but for the far away background noise of TVs. The town was otherwise so quiet I could have been the only living person here. I was alone, an outsider, not being part of that moment and not caring one bit.

Question existentielle (9)

Ma femme regarde le football, enfin le Mondial de soccer, Angleterre contre Algérie. J'ai essayé de suivre, mais je n'y arrive pas et je retourne à l'ordinateur.Ca fait dix ans que je suis ici, jamais durant ces dix ans dans une nation et sur un continent qui vit à travers le football n'ai-je réussi à regarder un match sans m'emmerder souverainement. Ce qui m'amène donc à ma nouvelle question existentielle:

-Pourquoi est-ce que je n'arrive pas à m'intéresser au football?