I miss academia

It struck me today: I really miss my time at university, either as a postgrad or as a guy working there. I mean really miss it. I miss it because I don't debate literature at all these days, but I also miss the beat of university life. This was most likely my natural element, a time when not only I could go to bed late, but also work and live on purely intellectual (and often useless) concerns. Teaching literature was the best thing I ever did and the most pleasant thing I ever did professionally. But there were also the thrill of getting in the library (I love university libraries), having a beer and a meal after a seminar in the company of reknown academics, or the seminars/lectures I would attend just for kicks, being a total and unapologetic geek.

I remember during my year in Liverpool attending on a seminar on The Picture of Dorian Gray that didn't even have ten people in it. I popped in out of pure love for Oscar Wilde's novel. I learned little there that I didn't know already, but I was happy to discuss the subject with specialists of the field. I did the same with some history lectures/seminars, which I was formally invited to attend (being a medievalist). I have to confess that I think I preferred the one I attended to just for fun, even though I always find history fascinating.

I haven't done all this since Liverpool in fact, which saddens me. I came close to have a part-time academic job back in 2009, but didn't get it. Money wise I am better off now, and getting the job would have brought a whole deal of little troubles (I would have had to relocate, for one), but there are days I still wish I had got it. I think I was never quite comfortable with teaching in secondary school and below, having to spend time doing discipline and being forced to teach very basic stuff to pupils. But teaching literature, that was something different entirely and I felt like a fish in the water. Oh well, I can still attend seminars for fun if I really want to. I can still play at being an academic.