Feeling not quite there

Wikipedia says that the day for the astronomical beginning of Autumn is tomorrow, not today. Well, I always thought that it was the 21. In any case, I always consider that it starts on the first day of September. The end of the day ended up pretty warm, but it sure looked like autumn this morning, with a dry, sunny but cool day like I love them. I am glad I wake up early these kind of days, when lights play with drying leaves. A drinking buddy once made me notice that the light of autumns are really unique and probably the nicest light you can ever find.

That said, I only go to work part-time nowadays, so if it goes on like this I might not make the best of the season on weekdays. But there is other problems: I never felt like I properly belonged to the school that employs me. Sure, my nemesis is gone, for which I am grateful (grateful to who? To her? Language has its share of absurdities), but my other colleagues barely speak to me now. The ones I really like I don't see anymore because of my part-time position or because they are gone too and I am left being the odd helper, the guy who comes on Monday. Well, some that did like me then still appreciate me now and are glad I am back, some pupils even wished they could see me more, but I am not feeling as welcomed as I once was. There is no hostility, not even coldness, just indifference. I don't think I ever felt universally welcomed there, but now I feel pretty much invisible, or moreso than I was before. I am underworked, underpaid and underrated. I need more, I need better and I need it now.