Friday 10 July 2009

Feeling like an outsider

I thought a lot about this today, as I am not sure what is going to happen of me next year, what job will I have and if I will still work where I work and in which capacity. I often feel like an outsider at work, like I don't belong there. Not to the school itself, not to the world of teaching (teaching is my place really, although maybe not at that level), but to the teaching crowd. I simply don't feel welcomed by many of them, don't feel like they give a damn about my presence there, don't feel they appreciate me in any way. I know one is borderline hostile, but that's not only her. They simply don't talk to me, and in reaction I don't feel like talking to them. Yes, I probably blogged about that before.

Well, I am not the only one feeling like this. The art teacher, a really nice lady (I say this and she is probably only marginally older than me), told me today, when I asked her how she fel, "not part of it". We had a special day today, and they had simply forgotten to tell her that her class was cancelled. It was not the first time it had happened, and it irritated her a lot. I really felt her bitterness, which was similar to my own. I really like her and her colleague, an older guy who does FX and puppets and other similar things. I showed them the Glove Man and they really got enthusiastic, saying that it was probably the most ingenious puppet they saw in ages. The man got so enthusiastic in fact that he asked me to teach him to make it, then showed Glove Man to his son, who has been making a riot at school with the puppet since then. With all the anger I can feel sometimes about some people in my school, I still feel like being there is worth it sometimes. But it is obvious I connect more with other outsiders.


Jazz said...

It must be hard, a whole other country, culture and language... The British, at least in my experience, aren't the most open people around either, so that must make it all the worse.

Guillaume said...

Actually, I don't think it has anything to so with them being British, but everything to do with the temper of some people. But I guess it must be true of all working places. British are not always the warmest persons, but they are usually friendly in their own way.

The Artful Gypsy aka Wendy the Very Good Witch said...

Aw...I'm sorry to hear that people are being mean! I really detest mean people. And that has to make it hard to get excited about going in to work everyday. Just try to remind yourself that their nastiness has everything to do with THEM, and NOTHING to do with YOU. Some people are so unhappy with themselves, that the only way they know how to feel better is by taking out their bad feelings on someone else. Pathetic, but true. I hope things get better and the puppet sounds grand! :o)