About King Charles

 If you were wondering if I was going to blog about the Coronation or not. Well, here it is. That is all I am going to say about it for now.I found this meme very funny.

Une longue fin de semaine impromptue

Parce que la reine est morte et que demain est son jour de funérailles, ce sera jour de deuil national. Ce qui veut dire un jour férié impromptu. Je ne m'en plaindrai pas: j'ai toujours pensé: 1)que l'on avait besoin de plus de jours de vacances dans une année et 2)qu'une journée de vacances en automne serait une bonne chose. Ce qui veut dire que ça nous fera un beau dimanche. Je crois que l'on devrair avoir une journée de congé en septembre à chaque année. Mais bon, c'est sans doute juste moi qui aime les mois d'automne et qui aimerait avoir plus de temps libre durant ma saison préférée.

The Queen Is Dead...

My wife told me a few mintues ago, as I was typing another post, that Queen Elizabeth the Second is dead. At her age, it is not exactly shocking, but it is nevertheless a big event here. As an expat (and a republican at that) living in the UK, I feel like I'm in the eye of the storm. I am not a monarchist, as you know, I cannot say I am very sad, especially since she died like not many people do: in comfort, receiving the best medical care, after living a priviledged life in luxury. Nevertheless, she was loved and many will be upset about it. For me, it just shows me that however well born you are, you cannot escape your own mortality.

Jubilee Cake

Yesterday, we went to one of those "street parties" that the English are quite fond of when there is something to celebrate. It was of course to celebrate the Platinum Jubilee. There were Jubilee pizzas, Jubilee nachos, with Jubilee salsa, Jubilee guacamole, Jubilee sausages, Jubilee other things and a proper Jubilee Cake, baked by one of the neighbours, not bought or anything. Only the topping as purchased. She was quite proud of making it. I managed to get this picture before more got eaten. At least you can see the inside. It tasted quite nice, I must say. Even though I'm a republican, I can appreciate British bakery. And in spite of my misanthropy, I can enjoy a little fête among neighbours.

The Lawn, the Queen, the Jubilee

I blogged yesterday about No Mow May. My wife Veggie Carrie picked up on it, so we had this conversation last night, which I am sharing it here for posterity

My wife: "Now that No Mow May is over, maybe you should mow the front lawn?" 

Me: "The grass isn't that long." 

My wife: "Yes but it would be nice for the Jubilee." 

Me: "So what? The Queen is not going to show up here for a visit!"

 

I think this deserves to be a new great unknown line (seems to be making a lot of them these days). In any case, I will wait a bit until I mow the front lawn.

Calembour royalement atroce

J'y ai pensé pas plus tard qu'il y a quelques minutes et je me devais d'immortaliser ce calembour atroce maintenant. Alors le voici, retenez votre souffle: 

"Aujourd'hui, les Anglais jubilent." 

Je sais, je sais, vous êtes maintenant pris entre le désir de vous faire aller les gencives ou vous goinfrer de Tylenols pour la migraine que vous venez subitement de choper.

The Jubilee Cat (and an invitation)

We received this through the door a few days ago. It is an invitation to a local Jubilee Party on the 5th of June. It is not signed. There are parties like this all around England and the UK of course. I don't know who gave us this card, but I suspect she (I think it's a she, this is a woman's handwriting) knows we are cat lovers. Or maybe she's just an old lady. Old ladies sent such cards, with cats on them. We don't know yet if we will attend. I am not a monarchist, for one, so I find the current display of patriotism a little bit much. And, while I get along with a few neighbours, there are one or two I can't stand. Still, it's a cool cat. A Jubilee Cat, if you will.

Jubilee Bookmark

We went to downtown yesterday and... in the bookshop. My wife was hesitant, because she feared that I would buy books, which I did. Books and one bookmark: this one. It was only £3.00. It is a special bookmark to commemorate the Platinum Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth II. The Brits are getting crazy about it. I am not a monarchist, you will not see this house covered with Union jacks or see portraits of ol' Betty hanging on these walls. That said, I am a collector of bookmarks and I love to encourage local businesses, especially bookshops. So I bought this bookmark. I will give it to my wife, it looks very feminine anyway. When in Rome, and all that.

Zaza l'épouvantail

Alors donc, nous sommes allés hier à la chasse à l'épouvantail, enfin notre safari automnal et Halloweenesque. Il y en avait de tous les goûts et de toutes les couleurs, des vraiment inventifs. Il y en avait des effrayants et des mignons, et il y avait entre autres celui-ci, ou plutôt celle-ci. Je me demande si c'est un hommage moqueur une moquerie pure et simple. Si c'est un hommage, c'est plutôt vulgaire. Mais c'est certain que la Reine, surtout accoutrée ainsi, doit faire peur aux oiseaux, alors elle doit bien remplir son travail d'épouvantail (peut-être même mieux que celui de reine). C'est une naturelle.

Gâteau Reine Élizabeth

Dans les coins régionaux que j'aime beaucoup, il y a Passion Café. L'une des choses que j'aime bien c'est leur sélection de desserts. On s'est d'ailleurs sucré le bec lors de notre séjour. Dont ce gâteau Reine Élizabeth. Je n'en avais pas mangé depuis au moins vingt-cinq ans. Je ne sais pas trop pourquoi j'aime ça, mais c'est je crois la seule bonne chose qui soit sortie du couronnement de Zaza. Si la légende est exacte bien entendu.

A republican moment

There is one thing I share with Queen Elizabeth II: we have the same birthday. Except that I am much younger. It means that tomorrow she'll be 90 and I 39. It also means that people spoke about it all day at work today. This is maybe the only one thing I hate about England: the reverence they have for someone who was born with blood right and holds her power and wealth for no other reason than this, and her subject's subservience.  But to my great surprise, when I was on lunch today, I've heard from a colleague (one I don't know much) this amazing thing: "I think the monarchy had its days." I nearly clapped, I was so happy. She was saying this, matter-of-factly, to someone who was a staunch monarchist, so I nearly clapped. I did not want to start a controversy (I am good at that when it comes to take a bite at the queen, so to speak), but when the other started saying the usual weak argument that they are a return on investment because of tourism and prestige and so on, I said: "Then put them all into formol, and you would have the same result." I admit, this was borderline seditious and certainly lèse-majesté, but this made them laugh. Well, maybe not the royalists, but that is true: if a crowned head is so sound economically, they are basically crowned scarecrows. So I think it deserves to be a new great unknown line. In any case, it was part of a republican moment and I love living republican moments, especially here.

The British Monarchy Explained (and why we need a republic)

You might already know that Queen Elizabeth was going to give more responsibilities (sic) to her son. I say responsibilities, yet in essence, the royals have none whatsoever, except some protocolary functions. It reminded me of why I am a republican. This bit of news is a good excuse as any to upload here a brilliant video I recently found on YouTube. It explains what is the British Monarchy and why it sucks to have it, and it debunks all the lazy arguments monarchists usually bring forward to justify the existence of this anachronistic and antidemocratic institution.

Ah! ça ira, ça ira, ça ira...

Bon, je ne veux pas en faire une obsession, mais c'est le Diamond Jubilee à en gerber ici. Alors j'ai besoin d'une certaine dose de républicanisme, peu importe tout l'amour que je porte à mon pays d'adoption, la monarchie est une absurdité anachronique et grotesque. Je ne connaissais de Ah! ça ira que les quelques couplets sur les aristocrates qu'on pendra à la lanterne. Si seulement c'était vrai, si seulement on pouvait. Et je suis conscient que j'émets ici des propos séditieux. En fait, toute la chanson est séditieuse, raison de plus pour la télécharger sur Vraie Fiction.  (Et, un bref post scriptum: j'étais étonné de voir à quel point une chanson républicaine était aussi imprégnée de l'imagerie du christianisme.)

Feeling very foreign

It is the Diamond Jubilee and Queen Elizabeth is everywhere on the news. I mean more than usual. We have a bank holiday. I don't mind it at all, but I find the whole celebration like the monarchy: absurd and anachronistic. My readers know my feelings about the monarchy, how utterly antidemocratic I find it, how sycophantic I find the press coverage here, how bloody irrtating I find the way the people of this country lose all sense of criticism when it comes to the crowned heads of this country. So people are going to celebrate this Diamond Jubilee and I am like I was ten years ago during the Golden Jubilee, feeling very, very foreign, very much like the republican I am. I know Canada also has monarchy, heck it is the same monarchy. But I feel so darn foreign to this all. In these moments I see that however hard I may try, I will never be British.

Je cite (encore) Beaumarchais

J'éprouve une certaine lassitude: c'est le Diamond Jubilee en fin de semaine et Jean Charest vient de mettre fin aux négociations avec les étudiants. Misère. Je voulais citer Beaumarchais à propos du Jubilé (la même citation faite l'année dernière), de la Reine qui est révérée ici et ailleurs par des sycophantes, mais je ferai d'une pierre deux coups et je dédie cette citation au premier ministre du Québec également, parce qu'il le mérite bien:

"Noblesse, fortune, un rang, des places, tout cela rend si fier ! Qu'avez-vous fait pour tant de biens ? Vous vous êtes donné la peine de naître, et rien de plus : du reste, homme assez ordinaire! "

The Christmas speech of Mrs. Claus

So Queen Elizabeth gave her Christmas speech yesterday. She mentioned her visit to Ireland (not mentioning that she didn't bother to have even a sip of Guinness). She also spouted other clichés about Jesus and the Nativity Story. The problem with monarchs is that they think they are born and in power out of divine right, and in Christian societies it means that they think Jesus gave them power over men. I often wonder what she would have thought of this Jewish rabbi, son of carpenter of very low origins, had she met him in the flesh. Whatever her sycophants say, she never struck me as humble (if she was she would have had a sip of that Guinness). Don't get me wrong: I have no idea if the Jesus pictured in the Gospels was anything close to the real rabbi Jesus who probably preached in ancient Palestine. But I seriously doubt that the foundation of the British monarchy and the Church of England was part of his plan.

I say she never struck me as humble, yet she is a living, breathing monument to the bling bling, vulgar, tacky, brainless rich and famous counter-culture that impress many commoners (and many not so commoners who should know better). Case in point: the head the United Kingdom, indeed the head of many democratic states, including Canada, was again this year dressed like Mrs Claus. I noticed it last year in my own Christmas speech. I may be too harsh: how can you look anything else than ridiculous when you have your title because you were born? But this is still striking: she looks ridiculous, sounds ridiculous, speaks commonplaces and is revered because she is a monarch. It's symptomatic of the institution: when your head of state os crowned, you end up with Mrs Claus at Christmas.

Lèse-majesté et sédition

Deux choses m'ont fait penser au billet que je vais écrire. D'abord la (courte) chronique de Sophie Durocher sur la couverture médiatique franchement obséquieuse et insignifiante des médias canadiens envers Kate et William. Je l'avais déploré ici.  Ensuite, le portrait chinois que j'avais fait de moi et les dix questions que j'avais demandées aux bloguers tagués. Parmi elles, je demandais ce qu'elles seraient si elles étaient un crime. En fait, je faisais un peu de projection, car je pensais au crime que je serais moi: la lèse-majesté ou la sédition. Pas que j'aie commis un de ces deux crimes ou que j'aie une propension à la violence, mais étant républicain, je suis forcément un brin séditieux lorsque je m'exprime sur la place de la monarchie et je commets de facto un crime de lèse-majesté quand je me moque de la Reine et de ses descendants. Il paraîtrait même que le républicanisme est toujours techniquement criminel ici.

Those crowned heads

I am getting royally fed up, pardon the very bad pun. I knew it, I was dreading it already, but it is happening now and it is just as unpleasant. So Kate and William are in Canada. Now that they are abroad, can we have a week without them? Well of course not! People from both sides of the Atlantic are all oooh and aaahhh watching the newlywed couple. And journalists and the media are expectedly sycophantic towards both sides of the Atlantic too. I would live with it if I was merely an immigrant coming from a republic. But I am not. I am a British subject who was born in a colony: their Queen is my queen, this heir is also my future king. And it is an absurd institution. Somebody is born and because of this should bow. The whole Commonwealth needs a guillotine. And I know this is technically seditious libel, here and maybe even in Canada. So I will qualify this: I am speaking figuratively, of course. I would never even hit a crowned head, even with a tomato or an egg, unlike some loyal British subjects. But I will voice my discontent. I am not a loyal subject. Monarchy is a stupid old joke.

A royal family and its sycophants

Yesterday, I was watching the BBC covering some charity thingy the newlywed royal couple went to and I could not help but started feeling nauseous, that kind of angry nausea I get when I see the obsequious way the medias here cover the royals. Sickening. Whether it is the Queen's trip to ireland when she shows crass snobbery towards the locals, whether it is the way they treat the deceased Diana as if she was a bloody saint, whether it is a Jubilee or the Queen's birthday, they show servility, an absence of criticism and pretty much behave like a sad bunch of suck ups. Oh how I hope to live old enough to see the end of this anachronistic clowns and their court!

A Pint of Guinness and an Epiphany

Two bits of news, seemingly unimportant, gave me an epiphany recently. Fittingly enough, those pieces of news and the epiphany concerned Ireland. I say fittingly enough, because James Joyce developed the concept of secular epiphany.

The first piece of news is about Queen Elizabeth, who in her historical trip to Ireland refused a pint of Guinness. I was not shocked, I was not outraged, I was disgusted. What, is she in the A.A. or something? I mean what a petty snob! You don't refuse to drink Guinness when you are offered some! You just don't. At least have a sip dammit! The second piece of news is about president Obama, who in his visit to Ireland downed the lovely beverage. The president had earned my respect and admiration before, but that is just a nice icing on the cake. I don't know how much Irish blood he really has, but he certainly has Irisi spirit (and completely deserves this song). It was a trivial matter, but he did what he had to do.

I say trivial, but maybe not so much. The Queen refusing to even wet her beak with a Guinness was not only rude, it was showing a lack of understanding or sensibility. Guinness is pretty much the Irish national drink. Obama got it right, instinctively. I think it has something to do, a bit, with the fact that he was born and grew up in a republic. Of course, the Queen is absolutely foreign to this. I think she might even be foreign to her own subjects, but that is a topic for another post. No matter how many speeches she can make, how many visits she can give, in the end, she does not belong to this world of commoners, where you earn your place with hard work, intelligence, creativity, merit. Refusing to drink this Guinness, she was out of place and out of touch.