Lèse-majesté et sédition

Deux choses m'ont fait penser au billet que je vais écrire. D'abord la (courte) chronique de Sophie Durocher sur la couverture médiatique franchement obséquieuse et insignifiante des médias canadiens envers Kate et William. Je l'avais déploré ici.  Ensuite, le portrait chinois que j'avais fait de moi et les dix questions que j'avais demandées aux bloguers tagués. Parmi elles, je demandais ce qu'elles seraient si elles étaient un crime. En fait, je faisais un peu de projection, car je pensais au crime que je serais moi: la lèse-majesté ou la sédition. Pas que j'aie commis un de ces deux crimes ou que j'aie une propension à la violence, mais étant républicain, je suis forcément un brin séditieux lorsque je m'exprime sur la place de la monarchie et je commets de facto un crime de lèse-majesté quand je me moque de la Reine et de ses descendants. Il paraîtrait même que le républicanisme est toujours techniquement criminel ici.

Those crowned heads

I am getting royally fed up, pardon the very bad pun. I knew it, I was dreading it already, but it is happening now and it is just as unpleasant. So Kate and William are in Canada. Now that they are abroad, can we have a week without them? Well of course not! People from both sides of the Atlantic are all oooh and aaahhh watching the newlywed couple. And journalists and the media are expectedly sycophantic towards both sides of the Atlantic too. I would live with it if I was merely an immigrant coming from a republic. But I am not. I am a British subject who was born in a colony: their Queen is my queen, this heir is also my future king. And it is an absurd institution. Somebody is born and because of this should bow. The whole Commonwealth needs a guillotine. And I know this is technically seditious libel, here and maybe even in Canada. So I will qualify this: I am speaking figuratively, of course. I would never even hit a crowned head, even with a tomato or an egg, unlike some loyal British subjects. But I will voice my discontent. I am not a loyal subject. Monarchy is a stupid old joke.

Monarchie et insignifiance

 Je commence à avoir sérieusement la nausée des nouvelles princières, quand ce n'est pas l'Angleterre c'est le Canada qui se met à déconner, et les médias dans les deux pays se comportent comme des téteux serviles. Pathétiques. Enfin bref, Kate et William sont au Canada. Si seulement ils pouvaient passer ça sous silence ici! Peut-on avoir une journée sans le couple royal? Il semblerait que non. J'ai bien aimé la chronique d'Yves Boisvert sur le sujet, bien que je l'ai aussi trouvée décourageante: la profonde insignifiance de la monarchie et son anachronisme même l'ont fait survivre et la feront survivre encore. Déprimant.

A £3000 dress at a charity event

I learned this reading the Metro this morning, from an outraged reader: Kate Middleton wore a £3000 dress at that charity event I mentioned here. £3000 for a dress. At a charity event. Only in a monarchy. I am glad at least one person in this country is outraged. When I said that the medias here are a bunch of pathetic suck ups this illustrates it perfectly. Charity is for the royals the activity they do between two cocktails, or during cocktails. There is nothing even remotely generous about preaching for a good cause in a designer dress.

A royal family and its sycophants

Yesterday, I was watching the BBC covering some charity thingy the newlywed royal couple went to and I could not help but started feeling nauseous, that kind of angry nausea I get when I see the obsequious way the medias here cover the royals. Sickening. Whether it is the Queen's trip to ireland when she shows crass snobbery towards the locals, whether it is the way they treat the deceased Diana as if she was a bloody saint, whether it is a Jubilee or the Queen's birthday, they show servility, an absence of criticism and pretty much behave like a sad bunch of suck ups. Oh how I hope to live old enough to see the end of this anachronistic clowns and their court!

Un couple princier en visite au Québec?

Je viens de lire cette nouvelle. Kate et William seront en visite au Québec et à nos frais en plus. Était-ce vraiment nécessaire? Bon, maintenant je sais quand je ne vais pas rentrer au Québec. Il n'y a rien que j'exècre autant qu'un membre de la monarchie qui vient visiter les colonies, surtout quand la colonie en question, c'est mon pays. Bien sûr, certains radicaux vont sans doute faire du grabuge. Je doute qu'ils réussissent à enthousiasmer la foule. On n'est plus dans les années soixane, après tout. Un silence froid serait quant à moi préférable de toute façon qu'à une bordée d'oeufs et de tomates. Cela dit, il n'y a rien de particulièrement radical à protester contre les représentants de la monarchie, comme les Anglais eux-mêmes l'ont prouvé il n'y a pas si longtemps. Il faut dire que le prince Charles et Camilla sont moins séduisants que William et Kate, alors ils attirent moins la sympathie. Tout de même, j'aimerais bien qu'il soit attendu avec une brique et un fanal, le couple princier.

Musing on that wedding tomorrow

I am home early today. And tomorrow because of "Kate and William's wedding". It sounds like they are old friends when they announce it like this in the media. I mean, really? It's not like if I ever had a beer with that guy or went to his stag night! We share nothing but a name. Anyway, as I needed holidays and the Easter ones had been too short, this is most welcome. Monarchy has to be useful about something. Still, the republican I am finds all the excitement about this wedding a bit ridiculous. In the end, it is a procession of (mainly) old people dressed like clowns. Catholics have the Vatican, the UK and the Commonwealth have the Queen and her descendants. Anachronism made flesh. At least I will have the day off.

Still, it is absurd, all that fuss about two people getting married, all that money spent on someone who will probably be the head of a state... because he was born. I guess I will watch bits of it, I don't have much choice, we will be invaded by images, soundbites, what have you. Maybe, maybe I will even drink at their health and happiness with a Windsor Knot. Not because they are royalties, but because they deserve to be happy. I am genuinely curious about this beer and this new brewery in Windsor. I wish the brewery well. A little anecdote that stayed in my head all day: in the lovely village of l'Anse-St-Jean there was a crowning, which I actually attend to. A bit of a ridiculous thing that got people talking, but the local brewery brewed a delicious beer for the occasion, "la Royale de l'Anse". It ceased to exist, sadly. Something good came up from that monarchy too, however short lived. I do hope the brewery in Windsor survives time, we need more breweries. But I hope even more than one day I will see the end of the monarchy in this country and mine.